Does this make me a Cougar? Part 11

So far, so good with everything. My New Year’s resolution is holding up and I’ve already sewn together a blanket made up of squares that I crocheted a couple of years ago and then just stuffed into a carrier bag and put in a cupboard. It is actually quite impressive and will look lovely draped across the bed in the spare room once Tom and Rosie leave. I’m teaching myself how to crochet again as so much time has passed that I’ve completely forgotten how to do it.

I told my lover that Tom and Rosie were staying with me. Surprisingly, he got quite vocal about the cost of utilities and asked whether Tom and Rosie were going to contribute. He seems to forget that he stayed here quite a lot last year especially when he was waiting for the purchase of his flat to go through. Maybe that was different although we never physically slept together in the same bed. I’ve never done that with him – much to my regret to be honest. I didn’t want my teenager to find me in bed with a man and so we always slept in separate rooms. Sometimes I question my own sanity. My teenager probably wouldn’t give a damn but I didn’t risk it. Perhaps I should stick a list of utility charges to the back of the spare bedroom door.

Tom and Rosie have just paid the deposit on their new flat and so I’m counting down the days till their departure. I’m really pleased and relieved that it has all gone so well. I look at Tom and see him as a good friend, maybe like a wayward son, instead of an ex. He obviously adores Rosie and she’s a good influence on him. It’s been nice getting to know her a little. We all keep our distance as much as possible, I go to work very early so that the house/ bathroom/ kitchen is clear. I get home first and so the house feels like mine for an hour or so in the evenings. We have a meal together once or twice a week when Tom does the cooking and leaves the washing up for me. Nothing much has changed!

I saw my lover at work yesterday. I looked up and he was standing next to me at my desk. I very carefully made sure my eyes met his and didn’t go meandering off to fantasy land. He smiled gently.  I melted. We might not have seen each other for a few weeks but the magic hasn’t gone away. Pressures at work and life’s obstacles have simply delayed the inevitable.